Rant, etc.

ATTENTION COFFEE STORE PATRONS:
If you order a quad-shot frozen mocha with whip cream, or any equally difficult drink, PLEASE TIP YOUR BARISTA. Last Friday, I must have made about 20 drinks in under half an hour (meaning I pulled at least twenty shots of espresso). Not ONE customer tipped! And all those people were going to the wine tasting next door... they're all just out for freebies.

Rule of thumb: If your drink costs $4, you should at LEAST be tipping $1, and you should always tip for any mixed drink. I get more tips for simple cups of coffee than I do for complicated espresso drinks. A barista's job is HARD work, and we put a lot of time and care into each and every beverage, regardless of whether you tip or not. And I make minimum wage, so I really rely on tips to pay bills and such.

One of the benefits of standing for 9 hours a day is that I can make myself fat-filled fully-hydrogenated chocolaty beverages, eat muffins and pastries for lunch and still manage to lose weight, all the while still bloating and PMSing like a raging bull (or cow, since bulls don't menstruate). Seriously. I eat like a monster, and since starting work I have consistently been 3 pounds lighter than before working.

On the downside, my skin is pissed off.

For all the health and wellness benefits that I received from my brief stint as a pesco-vega-tarian (that's my new word; meaning vegan plus fish), I should definitely reconsider. I've tried virtually every cheese in the store, and while I'll miss the St. Andre's Brie (best cheese in the world), I need to do something about this mid-adolescent boy skin. Mama D's muffins, the woman we buy our pastries from, have literally replaced all my muscle mass with fat. I haven't gained weight, but I have lost muscle tone. Boo.

And now for something completely different. I'm thinking of becoming an egg donor. More on that later, Mama D's oat bran muffin is about to put me in a sugar coma.